


Twigs

by Mockingone



Series: Trees [1]
Category: Naruto
Genre: Action/Adventure, Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Time Travel, Gen, Humor, Kakashi Freaks Out A Lot, Karma is a Nice Lady, Parody, Side Stories, Time Travel
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-08-30
Updated: 2015-08-29
Packaged: 2018-04-18 00:04:20
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 491
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4685168
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Mockingone/pseuds/Mockingone
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Kakashi learns about other ways to fall from a tree. Unfortunately for him, an infinite amount of universes means an infinite amount of trouble. [Offshoots, extras, and deleted scenes from the Branches AU.]</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. The List

**The List**

* * *

_Parallel to Chapter One: Talking to Trees_

_Confused? This should help... a little bit._

* * *

Kakashi had fallen into another dimension. Which was  _weird_ , but not that weird. Dimensional travel wasn't anything new to someone with a pocket dimension in his eyeball.

The weird part was that he was in the past,  _and_  everything was really, really messed up.

He looked down at the list of abnormalities he had made and resisted the urge to kill the person responsible for this. (Kakashi didn't  _know_  who was responsible for this, but... murder could be quite therapeutic.)

_Problems: World is fucked-up. Minato is alive and not a ghost-zombie-jinchukiri, Genma lives in my apartment, Tsunade was never Hokage, the Third Shinobi War was eleven years ago, and ITACHI IS A GIRL AND ALIVE AND (PROBABLY) NOT HOMOCIDAL. Also, the Uchiha clan is alive and well, but the Hyuuga clan was almost destroyed by Orochimaru (whose loyalties are kinda questionable?). And... I may have made Gai into a Rainbow._

_Causes: Falling out of a tree? Sharingan? Madara? Genjutsu? Dimensional travel? Insanity? Naruto?_

_Explanations:_

_Solutions:_

Alright, that meant that... he basically had learned nothing new. Great.

Kakashi would figure out a solution somehow, but until then, he was stuck in this bizarre dimension.

Eh, he'd survive. He always did.


	2. Unexpected Son-Hood

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Parallel to Chapter Two: There's Nothing Tree Related in This Chapter
> 
> In other words, this is what would happen if Kakashi went into an even freakier dimension.

"Ah, do I need reason to ask?" Kakashi's eye crinkled as he began his flattery. "I just wanted to visit you, of course. You _are_ the great Toad Sannin, the legendary Pervy Sage, creator of the peerless Icha Icha, my father's best friend, and my sensei's sensei so—"

Tsunade's sake bottle crashed onto the floor. Minato paled. Jiraiya's jaw dropped.

 _What happened?_ Kakashi's eye widened and he barely managed to hold back a curse. _Oh right. I'm still supposed to be angsty about my father. Shit. It's kind of hard to hold a grudge after dying, having a heart-to-heart with chakra ghost of your dead father, and coming back from the grave._ Had being around friends—family, really—made him lower his guard so much? _Sloppy work, Kakashi. Weren't you supposed to be good at infiltration missions?_

Jiraiya stood up. "Kakashi," said the Toad Sage gently. _Gently._ Since when was Jiraiya gentle? "I know it's hard for you to accept, but you must face the truth. I wasn't your father's best friend. I _am_ your father. You may have been conceived in a one-night stand between me and Sakumo, but that doesn't mean I don't love you."

With a scream of horror, Kakashi crumpled to the floor. Jiraiya was his _father?_ Sakumo was a _woman?_ Of all the horrifying things that could happen, this was undeniably the worst. Forget Itachi being a girl. _His own father was a woman!_

"Fuck this. I'm out of here." Kakashi lifted his hita-ate. "Mangekyo Sharingan! Kamui-Kamui-Kamui!" Kakashi was gone before they could even blink.

The three remaining ninja stared at each other.

"So," said Minato, completely baffled, "what just happened?"

**Author's Note:**

> So, this chapter was basically explaining the premise of Branches, the fanfic that these little offshoots (pun totally intended) are from. If you haven't read Branches, then you'll probably still be confused. I decided to clean up the main story by moving the non-essential extras into a separate fic. Any extras I write from now on will be added here.
> 
> And yes, I will take requests. Have an scene you'd like to see written? Leave a review, and I'll try to get to it.
> 
> Thanks for reading!


End file.
